The MacThoy & Brigham Young

Was it not Great Great Grand Pa Chucker just back with his Sherpa from a lovely adventure in Jamaica, whom on a Southerly raid for financial fun and games found a fellow that claimed to be working for the church. They were on the bank of a river drinking, when it donned on our good Chucker that this fellow and had been bitten by the guzzlewhomper for every time The Chucker passed the bottle to him this ingrate would would finish the bottle off and slur MORE! MORE! and after repeated rounds Sir Chucker insisted that Mr.Young:  "Share your wealth!"

Mr. Young, presuming he was in the presence of a great Healing Profit (because of the many dried herbs and spices tucked into The Great Chuckers boots for aroma therapy and the medicinal bottles that hung around the neck of this barrel-chested man), replied, "Repair your Health?"

An amused Chucker said "so what's your name mon?"

"More!" he replied "More!"

Our reveler and hero, annoyed by this man, referred to him there after as More-Mohn .

Once again the The old Chucker said,  "Well Share your wealth then you More-Mon."

And the ingrate did reply, "You'll repair my health and I'm Mormon?"

Now fairly irritated, The Mighty Chucker looked at his booze Sherpa and then threatened Young, "We'll Fuck all yer women, More-Mon!"

Having heard from friend named Joe, that sex relieves head pain and revives one's youthful appearance, Young considered the advice he believed the Wise old Herbalist was giving.

The fact that strange voices, in his head, had became fairly intense of late and that Joe had spoken of the problem as well, only served to intensify his determination.

The Elder Chucker saw that Young had a panicked look on his face, however, there was also a strange smile and a slight twinkling in his eyes. Young grabbed Great Great Grand Pa Pa and emphatically agreed.   "Yes, Yes, IF you repair my health, well I'll fuck all my women and be Mormon! I'll do it I'll fuck all every single one of them and I won't stop until I'm cured!"

As the vapors lifted from the last swig of some unidentified healing tonic, (probably rum from the earlier adventures) Chucker realized WHAT this crazy fool was doing to his family.

He staggered backwards appalled, and fell into the fire pit, he scrambled out quite quickly, his pockets a fire, and raced for the elixir of life that might repair this horrendous thought or at least fade it from memory.


At the sight of Chucker racing at him with his pants on fire, the poor Sherpa dropped the booze which in turn caught fire with an exploding sound and a huge fireball that blinded them all.

Great Great Grand Pa Pa only could say one thing and parts of this very statement have been passed on from generation to generation. "Ah, fer fuck's sake, Aye said Share your wealth or we'll fuck all yer women!  That More-man is dumb."

He fled this horrible site not even returning for the coin that had fallen from his burning trousers and only referred to any place near southern Idaho as "The Bank Church Wilderness and the River of No Return."

Young, not knowing, that this wasn't the word of God, refers to his Mormondom often and after counting all the money that "God" left found that it appeared to be at least ten percent of his income for the year and proclaimed it as the tithing to the church.

"And this shall be the beginning of the tithing of my people. And after that, those who have been thus tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord." D&C 119:3-4.

Joseph Smith - "I have more to boast about than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam.   A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it.   I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet. You know my daily walk and conversation." History of the Church, vol. 6, p. 408-409 (1844)

Brigham Young - "Gold and silver grow, and so does every other kind of metal, the same as the hair upon my had, or the wheat in the field; they do not grow as fast, but they are all the time composing or decomposing ..." Journal of Discourses, vol. 1, p. 219 (1852)

* Oliver B. Huntington - As far back as 1837 Joseph Smith said the moon was inhabited. "He described the men as averaging near six feet in height, and dressing quite uniformly in something near the Quaker style. In my patriarchal blessing, given by the father of Joseph the Prophet, in Kirtland, 1837, I was told that I should preach the gospel before I was 21 years of age; that I should preach the gospel to the inhabitants upon the islands of the sea, and -- to the inhabitants of the moon, even the planet you can now behold with your eyes. The first two promises have been fulfilled, and the latter may be verified." Young Woman's Journal, vol. 3, p. 263-264 (1892)

Brigham Young - Sun and moon both inhabited, and the earth will become like the sun with it is "celestialized."  Journal of Discourses, vol. 13, p. 271 (1870)

--details convulsed Delphic-style by the Siren


Last modified: October 01, 2005

Clan MacThoy's webpage is a production of the Northwest Hellcats & Love is a Dog from Hell.
All Rights Reserved.