The
Laird Of Cockenqueery
By Bard
Ah-Pook McGurn-MacThoy
Attend ye lads and
lassies to the story I will tell
About the laird of Cockenqueery and the castle where he dwelled
He lived in regal splendor in his castle on the bluff
And ne're went a-lackin' for some stable boy to stuff.
(Some stable boy to stuff)
Chorus
The laird, the laird, he's
queer as a newt
The laird, the laird, he sure is a fruit.
They brought him comely
maidens to try to make him hard,
But the laird, that raging faggot, would take up with their bards,
The knights would go a-searching along the trial of lard
To find the laird of Cockenqueery choking chickens in the yard.
(Choking chickens in the yard.)
Chorus
The knights they held a
council in the grand hall of the keep
While the laird, that randy buzzard, dreamed of squires in his sleep
"This has to stop." They all agreed, "we have to find
a wife"
"For the laird, or God forbid, He'll be a sodomite for
life."
(A sodomite for life.)
Chorus
They searched the country
over to find a well-born lass
While the laird searched the hall and keep to find a piece of ass.
The knights returned in 60 days, their banners flying high,
"The laird will surely marry now or kiss his ass goodbye.
(Kiss his ass goodbye)
Chorus
The wedding was a grand
affair, they really laid it on
Till the laird and new-found lady off to bed had gone.
The wedding bed was graced that night with sex that was divine,
For the laird of Cockenqueery took his new wife from behind
(Took his new wife from behind)
Chorus
The laird, the laird, he's
queer as a newt
The laird, the laird, he sure is a fruit.
|
